9 Months, And This Is How You Thank Her?

For those of you who were wondering what you forgot, here are a few reminders:
Backseat: The BABY! OH CRAP!
Home: Lunch, meds, flush
Work: Lunch, vodka, pants
Weekend: Mother's Day!

This year is going to be a different Mother's Day for my family. If you've read here before, my family's New Normal is completely different than anybody thought it would be a year ago, let alone two years ago. The past 2 years, in fact, feel much like a giant transition. A lot of changes, a lot of growth, and frankly I'm ready to see if the wings can take the beating once we're out of the cocoon.

My mom has been rather heroic this past year. In the wake of losing the man she married, she found a deeper love for her husband. She has honored the commitment to my dad that she made nearly 35 years ago: In sickness and in health. Instead of spending more time traveling the world with my dad, she travels 15 minutes every day to spend time with him in scenic South King County! She has taken on the finances of health care, house payments, pension plans, and long-term care for her husband. Of course, it would be great if it never needed to go like this. I usually blur my eyes with tears when I think of how my kids will not get to meet their grandfather, the way I never met my dad's dad, or how the day I get married will be different for all involved. But my mom has found some peace, and more strength in it all. It is our "new normal."

My dad has always loved her. She's a strong woman, and has always had a compassion for people who work through adversity, often helping them through spiritual guidance and favors above and beyond the call of friendship. The love and outpouring of friendship my family has received in the past year is a testament to how they've lived and treated others.

Usually I see Holidays as reasons for a fancier-than-tuna wrap dinner opportunity, or an extra weekend night to do comedy and sleep in. Why should I have to save all my jingoism for Arbor Day when I can go dress in a Bunny Suit TODAY and have most kick-ass Flag Day of all time? So, with Sunday being Mother's Day, I am reminded to not wait for just one day to come around to take Mom to Applebee's and spring for some sort of cobbler. Make your mom a cobbler whenever you feel like it. Call her. Take her to lunch next week. And apologize for that thing in Junior High, you know what I mean, the one with the hole in your jeans.

To the Amers, , Myers, Cedar Downs Andersons, Holmes, Falks, Sweigers, Fredricksons, Ms. Lemmel, Mastersons, the MVP family and everyone else who has given of themselves in the past year, you helped us get through the toughest, earliest stages of our New Normal.
Never will I be able to thank you enough for the love you have shown my family in the past year. I feel in your debt. Thank you.

For what it's worth, and because I can say it, there have been a few people who have backed away from my family in the past year, and these are people who my parents had been quite close with for the better part of two decades. For whatever reasons they are not around anymore, that's really too bad. My dad knows who his friends are, and often wonders why he doesn't see those people any more.

So as Mother's Day plans are made all over the nation, don't let one day sum up all that your mom means to you. Spread it over the year, so you won't have to drop big dough on one gift.

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Side Note:
For what it's worth... Gene Simmons is a Republican. His tongue, presumably, is still Libertarian, and surely HIV-positive.

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5-5-5-CINCO DE MAYO!!!

It's 05/05/05, the only time in our lives it will be such a date. This calls for a celebration. I'd say "meet me at the local" but all these other folks are celebrating Cinco De Mayo today. Cinco De Mayo is, of course, the Mexican Independence Day, as they fought and won their independence from the oppression of France.

Wow... even Mexico beat the French. Snnrf.

And what better way to celebrate the struggle and bloodshed, the ending ofan era and the beginning of the proud nation of Mexico than with their own time-honored tradition of Half-Priced Coronas?! ARRIBA! I awoke this morning to find somebody had left some nachos out to welcome me to this great day. What, no chicle?

I have far too much to do to type right now. I was up until 3am doing some worky work, which is a hysterical, sad juxtaposition compared to where I was this time last year. I was up at 3, probably telling my neighbors "no, YOU BE QUIET! QUIT YELLING OFF YOUR BALCONY! (firing my cap pistol into the air)" I'm-a catch a quick nap, then get some coffee, then tip tequila until I can understand just what the ese is so great about liquid cheese that we can't stop importing it.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRIB...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Clean Up Your Box

Lots of changes, lots of transition going on in the world.

First Lady Laura Bush is apparently "the funny one" in the relationship. Seeing as how she's married to a glorified gas station manager, who's best friend (Cheney) is a minion of the Dark UnderLord (Carson Daly), it's not too tough. She's got good material/writers, but her presence needs work. She has clout to carry the opener; sheesh, the woman had sex with the President! Then again, Clinton nailed more tail than a taxidermist (ba-dum-bum).
Note to Laura: Although the President is a comedy bullseye (here come the black suits and earpieces), you have more insight than anybody. Sit with Judy Gold for a spell, get a few more open mic sets under your belt, and you'll kill every time. Cripes, you even got the Red states laughing!

Iraq is trying to figure out who does what and when and for how much of our money. Oddly enough they're splitting it between religious sects, their Whigs and Tories dividing the rebuilding efforts. The Red States say "You're Welcome." The Blue States say "Please take Richard Gere." So do the Red States, actually. A long time ago a man older than I wrote something to the effect of:
"A democracy can last only as long as the voting public is unaware of their share of the public coffers. When voters realize they can vote themselves a dip into the public treasury, democracy tumbles, and soon thereafter a Dictatorship comes forth to harshly restore order."
He was writing about an ancient Greek society, btw. Realizing that Greed is the scale-tipping emotional impetus behind many people's actions, he saw that eventually, sharing will bother those who share the most (upper tax brackets). Greed can be wanting more than your fair share, an unrealistic gauge of your fair share, or even miser-ing every little cent so that not even YOU are enjoying your fair share. You can't take it with you, so you may as well load it into an RPG launcher and fire it through a crowd of protestors.

Creatively, another transition period. This entire first 1/3rd of the year has felt like a gathering wave, and people are paddling out to it. Some local comics are finalizing plans to get the F out of Seattle. I wish them all of the luck and opportunity in the world. The plans for each of us are different, so I don't really wind my clock too much about what other people are doing. I have some great opportunities in front of me, creatively, that require my efforts. There is no "lucky break" for me right now, just a matter of walking through open doors. Sometimes, however, open doors lead Out. Hey Dr. Phil, suck the juice out of that one! So the wave is gathering, and some may ride a smaller crest back in. That's cool. I'm challenging myself to ride a bigger one, however. I can't enjoy the little breaks forever.

Last night I made some turkey chili that is clawing out of me in every way possible. My

"Thinking outside the box" assumes that one could think inside of it to begin with. And that's not something I've seen in a while. In the high-stakes world of IT metrics analysis, where my only weapons are cunning, instinct, and spreadsheets, I find myself playing their game. Keep your friends close, but your co-workers closer, especially if they have access to cool pens or good candy. And none of that hard-butterscotch puck BS, I can get that on my own. You get some Hershey's Minis in here, set me aside some Special Dark. I'll be cleaning my box in the meantime.


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I've Had Less Stress, And Less Fun

In the past week, I've had a ton of great things come way. A lot of doors to knock on, many RSVPs to-which I must R, etc. And yes, it is ETC, short for Et Cetera, which is Latin for "And the nasal singer of Chicago." But you already expected that, dincha?

I put an offer on a 2-bed, 1.5-bath condo, a really great value buy. The offer was accepted. Shortly thereafter the ass-tightening began. Not so much about becoming a homeowner, as Real Estate is a feat and an achievement in many circles, unless it is filled with jerks. Or Native Americans who weren't doing anything with it anywho. (eat a humor dog) My housing payment may increase as much as 40%, but I'll be ownin' a great place. I'll be there for a good year, until I actually build my savings up again and have some disposable income.

Though I am a poor Crazy-8's player, I did clean-house at open poker over the weekend. Caught some good hands, got lucky, knew how to play 'em. Even BETTER:
FILMA-A-LICIOUS
There was much filming done for some parody commericals in Semi-Ah-Moo this weekend.

Oh crap, I better get it together and get on with my day. Gotta go sell some sperm, if I can remember where I put it.






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